Pervazoid Number One
(This page should properly be named '''Pervazoid #1', but the hash symbol confuses the Wiki software.)'' Examples Obviously, a comprehensive list of Dan's various pervazersions would be impossible to enumerate. Accordingly, this collection contains only some of the most glaring examples. * Dan's intense craving for lesbian sex scenes is so strong that it makes no difference if one of the participants is a rotting zombie. (Episode Twenty-One: One Missed Call @24:15) * "By 'south of the border' he means 'doesn't go down on women,' ladies." (Dan, Episode Thirty-Six: The Spirit @1:25) * Dan regularly masturbates to photographic depictions of cars having sex. (Episode Thirty-Eight: Beverly Hills Chihuahua @9:20) * Dan admits to having a criminal record, for having masturbated in a 7-Eleven® as a juvenile. (Episode Eighty-Four: Sucker Punch @28:15) * Regarding a listener's shot-for-shot remake of a scene from Hard Ticket to Hawaii: "A key piece of information that you leave out is whether that was your wife in the, who had the titular great ass." (Dan, Episode Eighty-Six: The Happiest Millionaire @37:00) * "Look, just because I'm visibly drooling and I've removed my pants, doesn't mean that there's anything untoward..." (Dan, Episode Eighty-Six: The Happiest Millionaire @40:50) * The world finally learns the signature ingredient inside Dan McCoy's Famous Sperm Eggs™: fresh extraterrestrial semen. (Episode One Hundred and Two - Cowboys & Aliens @16:30) * Dan implores Elliott to stab him in the foot, and then to find someone in a swan costume to rape him. (Episode One Hundred and Six - Immortals @25:05) * "Am I like a fairy godparent who's allowing a young child their first taste of boobs? I mean, their second taste of boobs, technically." (Episode One Hundred and Twenty Three - That's My Boy @6:30) * Stuart reveals that Dan is into smoke enemas. (Episode One Hundred and Thirty - The Scarlet Letter @43:20) * "It was the porn abbreviation for ass-to-mouth, that's what we watched tonight." Episode One Hundred and Thirty-Six: ATM @4:40 * Asked why Anakin's mother Shmi was tied up and near death in the Tusken Raider camp, Dan suggests: "She forgot her safeword." (Episode One Hundred and Thirty-Nine - Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones @38:35) Mentions Specific namechecks of "Pervazoid #1": * Episode Ninety-Two: Country Strong @48:35 * Episode Ninety-Four: Conan the Barbarian Stuart reveals that Dan's pervazoid behavior is just an elaborate ruse intended to disguise Dan's homosexuality. @48:55 * Episode Ninety-Five: Trespass @41:20 * Episode One Hundred and Eight - Passion Play * Episode One Hundred and Fourteen - Abduction @49:15 * Episode One Hundred and Twenty-One - The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure @46:40 * Episode One Hundred and Twenty-Two - Alex Cross @23:25, 52:00 * Episode One Hundred and Twenty-Four: Stolen @12:00 :: Dan attempts to drag Elliott into his own wretchedness by declaring "Hey guys, Pervazoid #2 over here." Although Stuart initially concurs, Elliott adroitly squelches the accusation by invoking his recently-disclosed Bigfoot Fetish. * ibid. @14:10 * Episode One Hundred and Forty-Five: R.I.P.D. @53:40